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Honeywell Nuclear Reactor Simulator License No.1 for Admiral Arleigh Burke

Chief Naval 
having done qualified as an OPERATOR by showing astounding 
ability on the HONEYWELL NUCLEAR REACTOR SIMULATOR, and known to 
be preeminently non-Scram prone, atomwise, is therefore bestowed with this License, with all 
rights and privileges appertaining thereto, subject to regulations on back side (of license, not licensee).

[left side] IF LOST OR FOUND, 
please do not bother to notify: 
Minneapolis-Honeywell Regulator Co. 
Industrial Division 
Wayne and Windrim Aves. 
Philadelphia 44, Pa. 

[middle] [signed] Bismuth H. McFission 
Exalted Grand Scrammer 

[right side] Don't for a minute think this is 
Cable cars 
Free balloons 
Swan boats 
Honey carts

Image of reverse side of license.

governing use of this license 
[this list is in two columns on original] 
1. Uranium may not be borrowed for home use without permission. 
2. Fueling around with fool elements is not only frowned on but forbidden. 
3, Take shower before entering pool reactor. 
4. Post no bills on thermal columns. 
5. Breeder reactors are to be used for official business only ... not for chicks, guppies or guinea pigs. 
6. No peeking under wrapping of package reactors. 
7. Do not dehomogenize any reactor without giving prior notice. 
8. Evacuate only in designated areas. 
9. Notify supervisor immediately if there are any accident survivors. 
Violation of any of foregoing may result in reduction of 
half-life of unexpired portion of this permit, or worse.

Published: Tue Dec 02 15:40:17 EST 2014